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I used to have this one thing in my life that really, umm in Blue say was “bring out the best in me”. Yeah, I used to have one like that. It really put me in my best performance, best at my heart, to my brain, it all the best, and damn yeah I can’t find any better. Like Katy Perry said, “how do I get better once I’ve had the best?”.

About the article that I posted before maybe you all think, “hasn’t she already found something good?”. For my personality to be a grown-up, yes, but for my heart, no. To be honest, I’m like a robot for this past years. When I lose “the one” that could really made me at my best, I feel empty. Time still goes on and on, but I just feel incomplete. I’m not me anymore. Well, maybe I’m too attach to it, addicted to it, so when I lose it, I lose part of my entity too, and I always try to fill the gap that left out, but it never filled correctly.

What if, something that you used to have, you can have it again? Not exactly the same, but when you see it again, it brighten your life again? Like Adam Levine sings, “you look so different but you feel the same”. All this years when you silently yearning for that thing to come back to your life again, suddenly pop out and you can get to it again? Are you gonna sing like Timbaland and Katy Perry sing, “I’ll never be the same if we ever meet again”.

Something that we used to have,, why we lose it for the first place? I’ve been living in my style of life in this past years. Life my live like there’s nothing wrong and really there’s nothing wrong, but I’m not at my best in everything I did (my assumption). I searched for another routine, I made my day so busy from morning ‘til evening, from Monday to Monday again, try to replace what I used to have, hoping that I forget it, but just like Aaron Carter sing, “You’re always with me even though you’re far away”.

Am I insane or what, if I going out with my college, my friend, my mind not there? I always thought, “wish you’re here, wish I go with you”. Anywhere I go, with anyone I go, I always thought about that, “what if I was going with you, this must be more interesting, I should do this with you”.

Unfortunately, it is something that we USED to have. Mean, we don’t have it anymore now. BUT I asked you once again, if you have the chance to have that thing again, that you used to have, will you let it go, or will you pursue it? Thing that brought you happiness, brightness, made you a person with a better heart, and this is all not just assumption, but you already met it and it still makes you feel that way (even though the situation now is so different and complicated), but you can’t predict when this opportunity will strike again right?

Don’t get it wrong, I’m open my heart to all new opportunity, yes, I’m not closed it tightly, I’m open to new ideas, to new environment, to new people, in fact I’m a really good at adaptation, too good I guess. So why seems I really stuck at this thing? I’m not saying I can’t live without it, the prove is I AM live my life for this past years without it, but just it, nothing really as close as I ever feel before. Damn yeah I make comparison, but like Katy Perry said right, “Comparisons are easily done once you had the taste of perfectionly”.

Damn, I’m a lazy perfectionist.